United 93

David and I went and saw it last night. Let me try to explain just how powerful a movie this really is.

First of all, we got there late, so David was pissy... he was so afraid we were going to miss the beginning of the movie because of traffic. And that made me afraid that we wouldn't be able to enjoy the movie because of his attitude. But once we got inside, everything was fine. They have a self-serve ticket kiosk in the front where you can buy your tickets using a touch screen. Most people where standing in line at the regular ticket counter (technology phobias? - there was no extra fee for using it), so I walked right up, bought my tickets, and had them in hand before David could even park the car.

We bypassed the food counter, too, 'cause we had just eaten (in hindsight, as you will see, probably not a good idea). We got into the theater and seated before the end of the cell phone silencing reminder.

If there were any previews, there must have only been one or two, because we got there right at movie start time, and there were none after the cell phone thingy.

The movie starts very quiet, with the Islamic men doing their morning ritual. The ritual they go through before carrying out a mission like this. Beyond that, I won't spoil it for you.

Five minutes into the movie, I knew I was in trouble. They shot the whole thing with hand-held cameras. Not good for someone who suffers from motion sickness (see, Dad... it's NOT all in my head!). I ended up having to visit the porcelain god before I got 10 minutes into it (see what I mean about eating first?). I went back in, feeling better, and tried to watch some more, but ended up closing my eyes. I know the guy sitting next to me had to think I was nuts to pay $8.50 for a movie and then sleep through it. But I wasn't sleeping. I was listening.

Listening to the ATC's come to the realization that it was a commercial plane that slammed into the north tower. Listening as the people on U-93 went about their lives on what should have been a 5 hour flight to San Fransico. Listening as the entire ATC tower went silent as they watched the second plane hit the south tower. (I did watch that part... they weren't the only ones that were absolutely silent. Except for a sniffle here and there, no one in the theater made a noise.) Listening as all the signals got crossed between the FAA, the military and the president, whom no one could seem to reach.

I did watch certain key moments in the movie. When the hijackers took over the plane. When the family members were calling their families. When the men rushed to take back the plane. In fact, everything from that moment on, I watched, even as I felt a little nautious again. I had to. Otherwise, why did I come?

Normally, when I cry during a movie, I tend to wipe away my tears as soon as possible for fear that people (especially David) will think I'm being silly. Not this time. I cried off and on throughout, but steadily for the last 20 minutes of the movie, and I'm not ashamed to say it. By the time the plane hit the ground, I was practially sobbing. I'm tearing up now, just thinking about it. Even after watching this, to try and imagine what those people must have gone through and felt is impossible.

When the screen went black, the theater was absolutely silent. There were a few follow-up messages that flashed on the screen... still silence. The screen went black again and the lights started to come up. No one spoke. We all just filed out of the theater, wiping our eyes, sniffling, and holding each other up. I had read reviews from other people about this happening when they watched it, and I thought about it as I walked to the car. I think I've figured out why it did. We're used to movies with happy endings.

The most unsettling thing to me was that watching this made me realize that the hijackers were just human beings, like you and me. Not the mythological monsters that I have somehow built up in my mind. They had families, friends, fear.... it is mind-blowing to think what a person's religious beliefs can make them do. And I'm not just talking about foreign countries. We have plenty of "Christian" wackos in this country to, doing unspeakable things in the name of God. Why can we not just be decent to each other? What is it that makes us want to make a point by hurting other people? I mean, really... why does Osama Bin Laden care if Americans don't view the world the way he does? Why was he so desperate to have his message heard that he had to kill so many innocent people who had nothing to do with his political or religious views? Why can't we live and let live? Why do we always have to try and the the other guy to conform? Why are WE always trying to conform to what other people want us to be?

I was listening to the news on the radio yesterday, and they talked about how the newly graduated Iraqi Peacekeeping Force embarrassed itself when half of the force walked out of the ceremony when they realized they were going to be transferred to other parts of the country to help build the force. I was so pissed off when I heard this. Can you imagine being one of our soldiers, spending all that time IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY getting these guys ready to take care of their own, only to have them walk out on you because you want to transfer them to another town? They don't want to keep the peace anywhere but in their own home town and for "their people". Screw the rest of the country. Like I said, I was pissed. But the more I think about it, the more sympathy I have. I wonder if the US forces, in their zeal to build up the Iraqi force, explained to them that there was the possibility that they could get transferred. We take it for granted here... military means transfers. They've never had a true military, other than the various militias that rule the different sections of the country. They don't know how it works, or why. And they seem to have a big problem seeing the whole picture, because they have so much to worry about just within their own little circle. They've never experienced a peace that would allow them to expand their thoughts to how to better the whole country. It's acutally very sad, and I wish that there was a way we could get through to them to help them see it's not just about them or their own small town. Until they do, we are either going to have to keep trying to help them or walk out and let them deal with it themselves. And they are obviously not strong enough to do that.

I have so much respect and sympathy for all the military families out there who are having to put up with all of this. David was telling me that there is a lady on his tennis team that, because of her fundamentalist "Christian" beliefs (or so she says), takes her family to local military funerals and protests... tells the family that their soldier is going to Hell for killing innocent people. Why? These families are hurting so much already. Why dig a rusty knife into their wounds? What can possibly be gained by being so hurtful? This is the same kind of religious BS that started this whole mess to begin with.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not an athiest. I believe in a higher power, whomever that may be. I call him God, but other people have different names. But I do NOT believe in "religion". Religion causes good people to go bad. It causes them to do things that under normal circumstances, their concience would probably tell them is wrong. To hurt other people "in the name of God", for whatever reason, is beyond wrong. And I think that every time God sees someone doing such things, he has to be hurting, too.