I don't understand...

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not trying to put anyone down. I can only relate to my own personal experience and I'm not generalizing.

What is it about some smokers ( or people with any vice, for that matter) that causes them to be unsupportive of people who are trying to quit?

I have a good friend here at work that is trying to quit smoking. For her health and to be a better example to her son. She was doing so well, despite the fact that her "smoking buddies" would still invite her to come outside and take breaks with them when they would smoke. Why would they want to subject her to that, knowing that it would be tempting her to do it herself?

Well, last Friday, she gave in, and when one of those buddies asked her to break, she had a cigarette... that turned into her buying a pack of her own this weekend and totally falling off the wagon. Well, not totally... she's still hanging on by a heel.

So today, when I saw her going to break, I asked her if she was going to be "good". She flat out admitted that she wasn't because she had one cigarette left that she HAD to use up or it would tempt her later. She claimed couldn't throw it away because she had spent good money on it.

So she's going to start her campaign to quit again tomorrow... but I know that those same "buddies" are just going to come looking for her to join them again tomorrow. Why can't they respect her decision to quit? Even if they don't want to (or can't) quit for themselves, shouldn't they understand the hard road she has ahead of her and give her a little more support?

Or is it the old "misery loves company" thing coming into play?

So I try to be supportive of her, be happy for her when she doesn't smoke, and praise her for being "good", but I don't want it to turn into a nagging session, you know?

Ugh... what a mess the way we give each other over to Hell in a handbasket sometimes.